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Can You Have Trust Without Being Vulnerable?

Brené Brown is a research professor at University of Houston. Over the last decade, she has spent her time studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. In her TEDx Houston talk on the power of vulnerability, she engages her audience with insight and humor. She delves into the understanding of what people who allow themselves to be vulnerable have in common.

One of the elements of vulnerability that Brené explores is that people who allow themselves to be vulnerable have an underlying quality of worthiness. They believe in who they are and all their imperfections. With that worthiness comes courage, compassion and connection.

Trust and vulnerability are intertwined. In order to learn to trust each other, individuals must allow themselves to be vulnerable with those same people. Even the simple act of believing that someone will do what they say they will, is making oneself vulnerable and open to the possibility that they may be let down. The more that trust is developed, the more individuals will gradually allow their vulnerabilities to show through, thus creating opportunities for growth. Developing trust and exposing vulnerabilities in the work place are critical for a team to develop and meet the mission that they were all brought together to fulfill.

It may seem counterintuitive to expose vulnerabilities during professional team building exercises, but with a strong facilitator, team members can grow and learn, and together strengthen their weaknesses. Trust is the foundation and underpinning of any successful team. Without trust and vulnerability, teams will falter and fail.

With openness and honesty, an environment for creativity and innovation can be fostered. When individuals are taught to be open to honest solutions, they will find growth in their roles within an organization and improve both in their skill sets and in their comfortability within the framework of their position.

Leadership coaching programs conducted by trained facilitators, help foster trust and creativity while understanding vulnerability and courage in the workplace. These programs also allow participants to begin understanding emotional intelligence and the need for this within any social setting particularly in the workplace. A strong program may start with EQi-2.0 or EQ 360 assessments to provide each individual with a baseline from which to begin building upon their individual strengths.

The bottom line is that trust must exist in order for team members to successfully offer solutions, take constructive criticism, be open to disagreement, and work through potential conflict. Respect is an important aspect of allowing one’s self to be vulnerable. When mutual respect is fostered and exhibited, ideas and opinions can more freely flow. Without that respect, trust will not occur between individuals in the workplace. Instead, elements of systematic, organizational dysfunction will begin to impact team performance and mission success leading to an environment rife with high staff turnover and major financial implications.

How do you develop trust in your organization?

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Business Skills Training Career Development Corporate Teams Executive Coaching Leadership Development Leadership Skills Leadership Training Professional Development Project Facilitation

The Positive Impact of Empathy in the Workforce

I want to cringe every time I see a TV series or a movie that features a crazed, former military member brandishing a gun, running with simulated voices in his or her head, and ominous music of impending doom – all due to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

I applaud storytellers for bringing mental health issues to light and for attempting to tell these often-silent stories. Yet what is often lost in the sensationalism of a highly trained person with a gun, is the humanity and seriousness of the situation.

The US Department of Defense, National Center for PTSD reports that issues of PTSD vary. For veterans who served in Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom between 11%-20% suffer. For the Gulf War, Desert storm the center reports 12%. For the Vietnam War the numbers are 15%.  These numbers cover only those who have been diagnosed; the estimates for actual individuals coping with PTSD are thought to be even higher.

These numbers are important because if you live and work in the Washington, DC region, or any area of the country with a large military population, you interact with people who may be suffering or who have suffered from PTSD.

In my role as a leadership development trainer and executive coach, I work with large populations of both active duty and retired service members. They are some of the most highly trained technical people and skilled managers in the workforce. When these people transition from active duty and enter the workforce, they can and do bring real value to the companies fortunate enough to snap them up.

Please don’t avoid anyone you know with PTSD or pass them over for job or promotions because they may have issues. Don’t be afraid of them or not trust them. After all, these brave men and women have given their all to protect us. Instead, learn to manage PTSD in the workforce, whether you are a manager or co-worker.

Coping with PTSD in the workplace

  • Create a safe place to ask questions and work together
  • Bring in a trained facilitator/consultant to work with both management and veterans to better understand issues and then develop solutions
  • Develop written procedures, meeting notes, and training manuals so employees and can refer back if they missed something at a session or need additional refreshers
  • Have published calendars for team tasks so individuals can refer to these privately
  • Provide access to alternate/softer lighting in work spaces
  • Initiate organization-wide strategies for managing stress
  • Set aside money for additional training for new members
  • Provide disability training to all team members
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Business Skills Training Leadership Development Leadership Skills Leadership Training Professional Development Wise Ways Consulting

A Review of Performance Reviews

To paraphrase a well-known Biblical verse, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven….” And to every employer and employee there is a time for an annual performance review.

If you think my pulling in the Bible is a bit heavy handed, it’s not. To many, this annual ritual is fraught with the same emotional up swells, wrath, judgement, and indignation as any powerful religious parable. And like the reading of any religious text (the Bible isn’t exclusive to this metaphor) it is followed with faith, awe, and confusion.

The Annual Performance Review As A Tool

The human resources community has been examining the role of the annual performance review as a tool for, well…employee performance. The results shouldn’t surprise anyone who has given or received an evaluation. It can be a miserable experience that people on both side of the desk feel is a waste of time. Many companies have done away with the formal review, opting instead for real-time evaluations. However, that isn’t yet the norm. There still needs to be a formal vehicle for tracking how employees are, or are not doing their jobs, as well as disciplinary actions, and accolades that lead to promotions.

Global advising firm, Willis Towers Watson in a 2016 study on employee evaluations, formally referred to in the report as employee value proposition (EVP), revealed some interesting results.

Employees want employers to connect with them the same way they connect and value their customers. Employees who are unhappy with performance reviews cite that their managers lack the skills or the time to make it effective. Only 51% of employers say that performance management is effective at creating a positive employee experience.

Employees who do find reviews helpful are often the most engaged employees. This means their managers have done an effective job in placing their role within the overall organization, provided positive coaching and feedback, and attended to employees’ concerns for security, pay equity, and a clear career path.  You can find the complete study here and it’s a worthwhile read: https://www.willistowerswatson.com/en/insights/2016/09/employers-look-to-modernize-the-employee-value-proposition

But here’s the spoiler alert. Effective employee reviews come down to effective communication skills. The same hold true on the other side of the desk. Employees need to listen and ask the right questions to elicit the most helpful feedback.

Anyone who has worked with Wise Ways Consulting has hopefully walked away with an appreciation for the power of communication in the workplace and a belief that there is always room for improvement.

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Business Skills Training Career Development Corporate Teams Diversity Training Effective Communication Leadership Development Leadership Skills Personal Development Professional Development Wise Ways Consulting

PTSD in the Washington Region – Hidden in Plain Sight

Living in the National Capitol Region, we share the area with many military installations and service members. Americans pride themselves on supporting the military. People rally around the returning troops, attend fundraisers to help support individuals, brave freezing December temperatures to lay wreaths at military cemeteries, and countless other opportunities to show their gratitude. Some even come together to build homes for those who have sustained more severe injuries that require building accommodations for prosthetics, wheelchairs, and other mobility-enhancing devices.

But what about those soldiers, men, and women, who carry silent burdens? Many look the same but suffer the natural consequences of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). According to a study by the RAND Corporation, at least 20 percent of service members returning from the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from depression, PTSD, or both. Military counselors estimate those numbers to be higher, especially when coupled with a TBI or traumatic brain injury.

As veterans transition into a civilian work environment, both themselves and their employers must understand how PTSD may impact everyone. They must work together to develop solutions so both the company and the veteran have the best chance at creating a successful work environment for all. According to 2012 research from Babbel, PTSD can impact veterans in many ways including memory loss, which can impact those struggling to learn new tasks on new jobs or function in meetings; lack of concentration; stress, including panic attacks, flashbacks, and emotional extremes resulting in the potential inability to work well with colleagues and managers; and hypersensitivity to sounds, lights, large crowds, and unknown areas resulting in headaches, migraines and panic attacks. Many veterans may not be used to the traditional work structure as compared with the military rank structure. This can cause stress and frustration as the employee works to forge a new path. For someone suffering from PTSD-induced memory loss, being unable to remember how to do that basic task explained earlier in the day may cause the individual to become overwhelmed and then lash out and blame a colleague or a supervisor. These types of negative responses can impede the development of relationships and workplace morale, particularly if other employees don’t understand that the incident isn’t about them. As the tension comes to light, it’s important to identify the root cause. Is it coming from one of the identified symptoms of PTSD? Supporting Individuals with PTSD in the workplace

  • Create a safe place to ask questions and work together
  • Bring in a trained facilitator/consultant to work with both management and veterans to better
    understand issues and then develop solutions
  • Develop written procedures, meeting notes, and training manuals so employees can refer back if they
    missed something at a session or need additional refreshers
  • Have published calendars for team tasks so individuals can refer to these privately
  • Provide access to alternate/softer lighting in workspaces
  • Initiate organization-wide strategies for managing stress
  • Set aside money for additional training for new members
  • Provide disability training to all team members

A solid relationship between employees and managers is critical for a productive workplace. This may be difficult for a veteran suffering from PTSD, working for a manager with little to no awareness of their background. Just like any employee, if the manager exhibits a lack of empathy for the individual’s situation, it becomes more difficult for the employee to be successful. This is magnified for someone struggling with PTSD.

Transitioning into a new workplace is difficult for anyone, but for those who bear the biggest burden for our freedoms, the task can seem impossible. If everyone did their part, the difference would be immeasurable.

This article was initially published in Prince William Living Magazine.
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Business Skills Training Personal Development

Balancing Your Professional and Personal Life

On a practical level, it is easy to see that both your professional life and personal life go hand in hand in the everyday balancing act that makes up your existence. In reality, there are five areas of life successful individuals are constantly striving to keep in balance, work, mind, body, relationships, and spirituality.

When one aspect of your life is thrown off, it can easily and detrimentally impact other aspects.

Each Aspect of Our Life Plays Upon One Another

  • Work is what feeds our careers and professional achievements. Being successful in our work life helps bring rewards our way. These rewards may include money, notoriety, mental stimulation, or something else that fuels our personal lives and further develops our self-esteem.
  • Mind deals with the desire and ability to learn, grow, and change. This is an important aspect of both our work and personal lives.
  • Body is the aspect of our lives that deals with our physical health and well-being. This is often one of the first balls to drop as our calendars fill up and we begin to feel torn in multiple directions.
  • Relationships include not only friends and family but also our co-workers and colleagues. When relationships at work are out of balance, this can often spill over into how we interact with colleagues and vice versa.
  • Spirituality or responding from a place of integrity or centeredness can be seen as the glue that brings it all together. It is this aspect that makes up our conscience as well as the principles, and values that govern both our personal and professional lives.

Bryan Dyson, former vice chairman and COO of Coca Cola says, “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them, work, family, health, friends, and spirit, and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls, family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life”.

How Do You Handle Things When They Get Out of Balance?

Recognize Your Patterns
One step toward regaining your footing is to identify the patterns that you are inclined to repeat when your balance begins to falter. Do you shut down? Do you explode? Do you react in a knee-jerk fashion or do you take the time to respond from a place of authenticity? How do you handle stress? Do you retreat into a different area of your life versus working on the aspect that has fallen out of balance?

Pullback and Regroup
Once you pinpoint your patterns, it is time to sit back and take stock of the various areas of your life and regroup. The sooner lack of balance is identified, the easier it will be to save other areas of life. Lack of balance in one area of life easily bleeds over into another. To prevent harm that may be difficult to recover from, take time to sit and breathe. Then from a place of centeredness, reassess the situation and identify a plan to move forward. Sometimes the best course of action at that time may be to not respond; other times the situation will require more immediate action. This will help formulate an action plan versus reacting without intent. An action plan helps minimize the effect on other aspects of your life.

Respond From a Centered Place of Thinking and Reflection
When you identify your patterns and give yourself permission to pull back and regroup, you can respond from a more centered and authentic place.

As you practice these suggestions when you feel your life is out of balance, it will help cushion the other areas of your life.

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