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Effective Communication Personal Development Professional Development Training

The Important Role of the Right “Q” in the Workplace

As leaders, one way we make predictions about potential success is through IQ, intelligence testing. First developed in the early 1900s, these tests have become standard tools for the military, school placement, and human resource departments. But what do these tests measure or really predict? If you took the SAT as part of your college entrance application, and didn’t do well, but still graduated with top honors from a university, you experienced first-hand that human intelligence cannot and should not be bound by a number.

If we simply ignore IQ and build our teams with a balance of race, gender, class, and culture that would be what many experts tout as a diversified workforce. But putting diversity aside for a moment, we still have to remember that each person, regardless of his or her diversity, is unique. Each person has experiences, a personality, and abilities. Hiring managers and teams still need to make personnel decisions based on traits and abilities that do not always include technical abilities.

In my book, How Not to Act Like a BLEEP at Work, the protagonist, Louise Jackson is a technically astute middle manager who has inherited a diverse team. She’s annoyed by their personal problems, and their need to share the ups and downs of their client interactions, and fails to see how she is losing control of her project. She suffers from a lack of interpersonal skills, particularly empathy. She is sent to work with a mentor with the dark cloud hanging over her head and unless there is improvement in her leadership and team, she’ll be looking for a new job. She confides in her mentor that, Some people at this company are just too thin-skinned. They expect you to worry about their feelings and what is going on with them outside of the office. This is work, for goodness sake. You come here to get the job done.

Lou needs to learn about EQ or emotional intelligence.

What is EQ?
Emotional Intelligence is arguably a more critical element of success than IQ in determining a cohesive productive team in the workplace.  The Encyclopedia of Applied Psychology lists three major models of emotional intelligence, Mayer-Salovey, Daniel Goleman, and Reuven Bar-On.  The Mayer-Salovey model defines this as the ability to perceive, understand, manage and use emotions to facilitate thinking.  The Goleman model views EQ as an assortment of emotional and social competencies that contribute to successful managerial performance and leadership.  The Bar-On model describes EQ as an array of interrelated emotional and social competencies, skills, and behaviors that impact intelligent behavior.

There are five composites of Emotional Intelligence that makeup the Bar-Ons EQ-I 2.0 model; self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal, decision-making, and stress management.  Arguably, the most important for successful leadership is interpersonal skills. Healthy engagement with these proficiencies allows you to understand, connect and relate better with others and become more successful in positions that require social connection and esprit de corps.

Yet many leaders bristle at the use of the term empathy. Some find it difficult to care about things outside of the production of work, but as the workforce becomes more diversified, empathy and EQ skills are essential for success.

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important in the Workplace?
You hear the term company culture thrown around frequently in modern organizations. Any research on values and goals tells you that when values and goals align in the workplace, organizations are more successful.

From a management standpoint, if you are working at cross-purposes with your employees, your productivity will be stunted. It may be easier to quantify and calibrate technical skills but the behavioral skills found within EQ fuel the growth of your business.

Organizations can benefit from bringing in a knowledgeable consultant to facilitate EQ growth by utilizing assessments such as EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 to evaluate emotional intelligence in management, employees, and teams. From there, an interactive program to work with individuals and teams will cultivate valuable resources to improve effective communication. In the case of my struggling protagonist, Lou, she participates a formal mentoring program. Through stories, I show how she learns how to work with her team and increase organizational productivity. Those strategies will work for the real characters in our offices too!

Wise Words Newsletter” read the rest of the October newsletter here!

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Effective Communication Executive Coaching Leadership Development Leadership Skills Professional Development

Communication and Integrative Listening

It’s September, happy New Year! Don’t worry, I do know that the actual start of the year is January. Yet for many people, September signifies the start of a major work cycle and a return to more targeted communication. Summer vacations end, children go back to school, days are shorter, and there is a sense of urgency to produce profit, and provide before the actual new year.

This is a good time of year for managers to pay attention to integrative listening. This is a psychological/behavioral skill that means paying attention to others using your whole self. Look people in the eyes when either of you speaks, be sensitive to body language, and today, I would add, keep your phone in your pocket!

Leaders who practice integrative skills communicate with empathy, working to understand where the other person is coming from, even if they don’t agree with why the person feels or thinks that way. They watch the speaker’s body language and listen to their tone of voice. They understand that communication is more than words in isolation.  They learn to respond assertively, using I messages, owning their contribution to the process of communicating, and helping to involve the other parties in the process as well.  As people practice and employ these skills, they begin to appreciate what the other person brings to the table; relationships based on trust lead to more cohesive teamwork.

Now that we have all come back to work, physically and mentally, and that “new year” sense of urgency has started to surge through our workplace, it is more important than ever to be mindful of our behavior and practice integrative skills.  Recognize how our behavior impacts others. Are our ‘contributions’ really contributing to the growth of the team and the organization?  Or are we becoming a deterrent because of our lack of communication skills?  What do you need to focus on before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, 2016?

Want to learn more? Contact me at [email protected]

Wise Words Newsletter’s read the rest of the September newsletter here!

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Effective Communication

The Important Role of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in the Workplace

The phrase Emotional Intelligence was coined by leading researchers Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer back in 1990 in their article, “Emotional Intelligence”  “We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”

What is EQ?

Emotional Intelligence is often referred to as EQ and is arguably a more critical element of success than IQ in determining a cohesive productive team in the workplace. Five categories of Emotional Intelligence make up the EQ.

  • Self-Awareness – The perception of emotion in oneself and others
  • Empathy – The ability to express and understand emotions and recognize them in others
  • Motivation – The ability to utilize emotions for productivity
  • Self-Regulation – The ability to manage emotions
  • Social Skills – The ability to interact successfully with others

“Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them, and how to work cooperatively with them,” Says Howard Gardner, Harvard theorist, influential in the field of EI research.

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important in the Workplace?
You hear the term ‘company culture’ thrown around frequently in modern organizations. Any research on values and goals tells you that when values and goals align in the workplace, organizations are more successful.

From a management standpoint, if you are working at cross-purposes with your employees, your productivity will be stunted. Much of drawing out the best possible productivity and growth in your team is dependent upon your ability to find the strengths and weaknesses in your people and nurture and grow their competencies. It may be easier to quantify and calibrate technical skills but the behavioral skills found within EQ fuel the growth of your business.

It can be highly beneficial for organizations to bring in a knowledgeable consultant to administer EI testing such as the EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 assessments to evaluate emotional intelligence both in management and in employees and teams. Once an assessment has been performed, an interactive program to work with individuals and teams will cultivate valuable resources to improve effective communication and understanding to increase team and organizational productivity.

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Effective Communication Personal Development Professional Development

Reality TV – What is it Doing to Society?

Reality television….what is it doing to us as a society?  Does it lead to behavioral changes in a workforce?   Recently I read that one of the contestants on The Bachelorette knew he was entering the game not wanting to win.  His goal seemed to be to grab a couple of minutes of fame regardless of the impact of his behavior on those around him.  He openly admitted he wasn’t attracted to the main character, that he had no intention of being with her and could basically care less.  Assuming that all involved were there with the same good intentions, she was reduced to tears and experienced much misery as a result.

Is this what we have been reduced to?  Have we become a society where people intentionally set out to hurt others in order for their own gain?  And what about those who are watching this and enjoying it?  Others have resorted to calling out that the woman in question ‘asked for it’ by being gullible or stupid.   What causes people to progress down this path of deteriorating human behavior?

Within the workplace, what about those who intentionally throw their colleagues under the proverbial bus?  What is to be gained by this?  More and more, it appears that people have become almost incapable of choosing the mature and respectful option of having a face-to-face conversation using non-accusatory language and employing the skills of active listening.  When we already know it does not work, why do people resort to playing passive-aggressive?

If Hollywood were to make a reality TV show about your workplace, what it would be called?  What role would you play?  Would you be denigrating others while looking for your two minutes of fame?  Or would you be focusing on developing existing relationships while achieving your organization’s mission?

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Business Skills Training Personal Development

Balancing Your Professional and Personal Life

On a practical level, it is easy to see that both your professional life and personal life go hand in hand in the everyday balancing act that makes up your existence. In reality, there are five areas of life successful individuals are constantly striving to keep in balance, work, mind, body, relationships, and spirituality.

When one aspect of your life is thrown off, it can easily and detrimentally impact other aspects.

Each Aspect of Our Life Plays Upon One Another

  • Work is what feeds our careers and professional achievements. Being successful in our work life helps bring rewards our way. These rewards may include money, notoriety, mental stimulation, or something else that fuels our personal lives and further develops our self-esteem.
  • Mind deals with the desire and ability to learn, grow, and change. This is an important aspect of both our work and personal lives.
  • Body is the aspect of our lives that deals with our physical health and well-being. This is often one of the first balls to drop as our calendars fill up and we begin to feel torn in multiple directions.
  • Relationships include not only friends and family but also our co-workers and colleagues. When relationships at work are out of balance, this can often spill over into how we interact with colleagues and vice versa.
  • Spirituality or responding from a place of integrity or centeredness can be seen as the glue that brings it all together. It is this aspect that makes up our conscience as well as the principles, and values that govern both our personal and professional lives.

Bryan Dyson, former vice chairman and COO of Coca Cola says, “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them, work, family, health, friends, and spirit, and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls, family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life”.

How Do You Handle Things When They Get Out of Balance?

Recognize Your Patterns
One step toward regaining your footing is to identify the patterns that you are inclined to repeat when your balance begins to falter. Do you shut down? Do you explode? Do you react in a knee-jerk fashion or do you take the time to respond from a place of authenticity? How do you handle stress? Do you retreat into a different area of your life versus working on the aspect that has fallen out of balance?

Pullback and Regroup
Once you pinpoint your patterns, it is time to sit back and take stock of the various areas of your life and regroup. The sooner lack of balance is identified, the easier it will be to save other areas of life. Lack of balance in one area of life easily bleeds over into another. To prevent harm that may be difficult to recover from, take time to sit and breathe. Then from a place of centeredness, reassess the situation and identify a plan to move forward. Sometimes the best course of action at that time may be to not respond; other times the situation will require more immediate action. This will help formulate an action plan versus reacting without intent. An action plan helps minimize the effect on other aspects of your life.

Respond From a Centered Place of Thinking and Reflection
When you identify your patterns and give yourself permission to pull back and regroup, you can respond from a more centered and authentic place.

As you practice these suggestions when you feel your life is out of balance, it will help cushion the other areas of your life.

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Career Development Effective Communication Leadership Development Leadership Skills Leadership Training Personal Development Professional Development

Are you a reason, a season, or a lifetime?

So here we are again in December.  The time when we reflect and take stock of all that we’ve accomplished or in some cases, not accomplished.  Heck, sometimes it is even difficult to find time during the holiday season to sit still and breathe, let alone reflect!

What did you set out to accomplish in 2016?  But, before you harangue yourself for not finishing everything, think about your year beyond your list of goals.

I’ve always found this poem to be poignant; given that we are nearing the end of the calendar year.

 People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
 When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

 When someone is in your life for a REASON,
 It is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
 They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
Or to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, and our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,
It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
The season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
Those things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person anyway;
And put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life,
Whether you were a reason, a season, or a lifetime

Consider the people in your circles at work and social.  Who were/are the reason, people?  What lessons did you learn?  How did you grow?

Who are the season individuals?  What experiences did they bring for you that brought joy?  When the reason and season people in your life moved on, were you able to accept that it was time and think about the growth in your life?

Who are the lifetime folks?  What are you doing to learn from those individuals?

Relationships are not meant to be one-sided.  Think also about your influence on the lives of others.  Who have you represented to them?  Have you been released from a relationship along your journey?  What did you bring to the space that you shared?

At work, if you are a manager/leader you can extend that idea to new employees, new clients, and new upper management.  If you have hired someone for a job you can extend that to the consultants, new customers, and customers you may have lost.

If you are a team member, you can extend that to your boss, co-worker, and the idea that 2017 is the time for a change.  Maybe it’s time for you to push for a promotion, get/finish a degree, or even a new job.

As you move forward into 2017, consider how you will ‘show up’ to those in your life.  Take steps to ensure that you are bringing your authentic self, both in the workplace and in life in general.

To those of you celebrating holidays in the next few weeks, enjoy!

All the best, see you in January!

Categories
Goal Setting Personal Development Professional Development

As the Year Comes to a Close, Are YOU Meeting Your Goals?

With 2015 nearly upon us, New Years’ Resolutions swim in our heads as we prepare to have a “better” year than the last. Often times though, many individuals do not take the time to do a critical analysis of the past, present, and future goals in order to properly set themselves on a path of change and growth. This can be felt both in their personal development and professional development.

Studies show that people who put pen to paper and write down their specific goals tend to be more successful at accomplishing whatever they set out to achieve versus those who do not write them down and are not detailed in their goal setting.

Our personal goals tend to be things like gaining a promotion, losing weight, getting into shape, getting finances under control, meeting someone, and so on. While these are great goals, they need to be quantified and put into manageable perspective. This often cannot happen unless you take stock of where you are and where you want to be. This is doubly true for professional goals. Critical analysis is an important aspect of getting your professional goals in line for growth and improvement.

Goal setting is not a set-it-and-forget-it type of activity. Look at goal setting as an ongoing process of improvement and change. Ask yourself hard questions like “Where do I want to be in a year, or in five years. How does my life look to me now and what steps do I need to make in order to achieve these goals?” These same questions can be applied to professional goals – it is important to ask yourself the difficult questions in order to identify and quantify your goals.

From a business standpoint, here are a few questions that will help you take stock of your current job performance and formulating goals.

As a leader, how do you assess your own performance and make changes?
As a leader it is important to provide tools and programs to assess not only your own skills and performance, but also those of the rest of your team. When you use assessments like EQ360 and EQ-i 2.0 to assess emotional intelligence and consult with an expert to put together an interactive program to improve professional performance and growth, you are setting up not only yourself, but your entire team for success in the coming year.

Do you take the time to review your personal and professional performance goals?
Improving goal setting skills and putting together a consistent review process whereby you are constantly reevaluating goals and readjusting them to fit your reality is paramount to successful progressive growth, both with personal development and professional development. Implementing a goal setting skills training program in the workplace will set each and every team member up for success. Goals cannot be static. Goals are a constant compass that need referencing throughout the year in order to stay on the correct path.

How do you garner honest feedback on your performance as a leader or manager?
Opening the lines of communication between all members of an organization is key to individual professional growth and the growth of a team. How can you set goals if you do not have a reference point on how you are doing? There are many different ways to ask for feedback from your peers, managers, and employees. Take a walk and talk, send an office survey, “feed forward”, or schedule regular one-on-one meetings – these are just a few ways to receive honest feedback. Here are some great ideas from SmartBlogs.

What do you do with that feedback?
Once you receive feedback, decide how you are going to incorporate this into a program to improve your performance and grow in your role within the organization. Use feedback to help map out your own goals.

Goal setting is an important part of personal and professional growth. It is essential to be able to assess where you are to see where you are going. Let us know if we can help you improve your performance and fulfill your goals in 2015.

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Effective Communication Personal Development

The Impact of Tragedy

“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own…how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.” – William Allen White

As the images of the horrendous tragedy in Japan continue to bombard us on the various news channels, I am struck by the humanity with which the Japanese people continue to treat each other. I see this not only in the absence of looting but also in the manner in which they look out for each other and share the dwindling food supplies. There is no rush to get the very last morsel for oneself; rather people look to their neighbors on either side to ensure that each person has a share of the offerings.

One particular image on the news has become etched in my mind, that of a group of terrified people running up the hill to safety from the rapidly approaching tsunami. Within the group were a few who were desperately trying to carry others who appeared unable to walk. The waves rushed at them and although those ahead were clearly able to make it up the hill on their own, they turned and went back to try and ensure that the others made it to safety as well. That type of selflessness is an example of true humanity.

How will this tragedy change the way that each of us conducts our daily lives? Will we take the time to communicate with our family, friends, colleagues, and strangers in a way that shows we care about each other? Will we look them in the eyes and use words that indicate we truly heard what they were saying and recognized the importance their situation played in their lives?

Will we make the time to smile and say hello to a co-worker or client who looks like they are having one of those days? Will we even notice they’re having a bad day or will we just continue to avert our eyes and push past our offices so we can ‘take care of those files and get out of here’, all the while complaining our way down the freeway?
I viewed a segment about one particular survivor, an elderly gentleman who had lost his entire family: his wife, his sons, and all of his grandchildren. Yet despite the immeasurable grief in his heart, he still had the spirit and compassion to work with the rest of the search teams to look for possible survivors.

Considering that, it makes the traffic on ’95 seem pretty inconsequential.

So I ask you to consider – how will this tragedy impact you and how you communicate with others.

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