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Category: Professional Development

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Personal Development Professional Development

How to Beat the Commuting Blues

Words can bring about emotional reactions. How do you feel when you see these: I-95, I-66, the Beltway, Prince William Parkway? Do you feel a tingle of apprehension? That feeling is the commuting blues.

If you live in the Washington DC region, even if you work from home, you feel it. Everyone has a button on their car radio set for “traffic and weather on the 8’s” because a distracted driver can lead to a crash, can turn into a “car-be-que”, can close down a major artery, back flowing side routes, and yeah….

Data from the American Community Survey, which comes from the US Census Bureau, report that the average commuting time in our area is 26.9 minutes. That’s above the national average of 25.2 minutes. I think you would be hard pressed to ask ten random people if their commutes were 26.9 minutes or less. However, another telling statistic is that 77.5% of people commute to work alone – we drive.

Commuting Time is Still Usable Time

We can’t change the reality of where we live or make overnight improvements to our public transportation system but we can make better use of our commuting time.

First, unless you are carpooling – more on that in a bit – PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE! No kidding, don’t text and drive, email, play games, watch movies, or anything on your phone while you drive.

I would also caution to limit hands free phone calls. The “I’ll take this on the road,” meeting leads to two outcomes. The first is a potential accident as you are listening to a group of people and not paying attention. The second is you really don’t get anything out of the meeting because you are paying attention to your driving.

However, time alone in the car is a great opportunity to listen to a book on CD or download a podcast. Companies like the Great Courses offer hundreds of classes where you can learn organic chemistry, business negotiation skills, or the history of Italian art. Other companies offer language media, or go to your local library. With a free Prince William County library card, you can check out books on CD and download hundreds of audio titles from Overdrive, One Click Media, and hoopla – free!  With over an hour in the car every day, that’s a lot of material.

Another option to get the most out of your drive time is to carpool or take public transportation. When you call “shotgun” you are then free to play on your phone, read, work, or talk to the driver or others in the car. Yes, you have to take your turn behind the wheel, but the free time can help you get a jump on your day. Also, being part of a carpool forces you to arrive and leave on a schedule.

Another commuting trick is to schedule flex time. Talk with your employer and see if they will allow you to come to work early or late and leave early or late. Another possibility is to work part-time from home. Technology such as Go-To Meeting and Skype allow you to video conference. No need to meet in person, especially for early morning or late afternoon meetings.

Driving is about moving you from home to work and back again. The time trapped in the car doesn’t have to feel like prison.

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Corporate Teams Effective Communication Government Agency Training Leadership Development Leadership Skills Personal Development Professional Development Training

The Bully Behind the Desk

Here’s some eye-opening news. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people. A Yale University study found that victims of bullying are between two to nine times more likely to consider suicide than those who are not being bullied. The National Education Association reports 160,000 children miss school each day for fear of being

Much has been written in recent years about bullying; many schools have developed a no-bully policy. However, that doesn’t stop the behavior any more than a no-smoking sign outside a building stops people from smoking.

Let’s move past the tender school years and jump into the workforce. A 2014 survey conducted by the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI,) reports that twenty-seven percent of workers “have current or past direct experience with abusive conduct at work.”  Not surprisingly, managers are the majority of offenders.

Now, let’s connect the dots. If students are missing school and contemplating suicide, how does that translate to working adults? Students can and should report all incidents of bullying to school authorities. But what does a worker do if the consequences are professional retaliation or job loss? Not everyone is in a position where he or she can just get another job.

First, it’s important to recognize and define workplace bullying behavior. WBI defines it as conduct that is threatening, humiliating, or intimidating and includes actions that lead to work sabotage. This can come through verbal abuse or written text or emails.

If you think that these behaviors walk the line between bad actors and legal actions, you’re right

  • Document the activities, names, dates, events, and witnesses if applicable
  • Report activities to human resources or the highest authority above the person who is the bully
  • Seek the advice of an attorney
  • In extreme cases, call the police

Most of all, realize that you are not alone. The schoolyard bully does grow up, yet unfortunately, may not outgrow his or her reprehensible behavior. No one has the right to abuse another person on the playground or at work.

Wise Words Newsletter – read the rest of the April newsletter here!

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Goal Setting Personal Development Professional Development

Finding More Time Now For Fun Stuff Later

April is one of the best weather months in this region! We enjoy longer days and consistently warmer temperatures. It’s easy to let important tasks fall behind when all you want to do is be outside. So how do we ensure that we have more disposable time to play outside and enjoy the fun side of life?

Start by asking what are the things that you WANT to be doing. Are there roles that you pick up because you face a series of blank stares from your family – and let’s face it, it’s just easier to do the tasks than deal with the grumbling? What could you do to make the tasks a little more palatable?

Instead of arriving at the end of summer and thinking to yourself about all of the fun things that you (again) didn’t take part in, identify these now. Make a wish list, and go crazy! Write down what you want to do before September rolls around. Think about how much joy you would bring to your life just by doing a few of the things on your list! Then grab your calendar and identify what you’ll commit to attending/doing.

Remember that by creating extra time in your life, you’ll have to give up something along the way.

  • Your child needs to bring cupcakes to a school function. Normally you’d spend the time baking, icing, and producing mini-masterpieces! Instead consider the value in picking up something from the grocery store, thus creating time for an evening walk with your child, sharing time together instead!
  • Does spring cleaning need to be tackled? Have your children help out – even if it takes you some time along the way to teach them what to do. Will they complain? Quite possibly but the tasks still need to be completed so teaching them when they’re younger makes it easier later in life.
  • Speaking of cleaning, some individuals find great pleasure and satisfaction in these tasks. Me? I love the feeling of accomplishment when cleaning through closets and finding new homes for things – out of my own home! However, housecleaning just isn’t my favorite activity. I would rather coach an extra client, do something I love to do, and then pay to have the cleaning completed. I learned the act of cleaning things from my closets from my father and then the enjoyment of having my home cleaned from my mother!
  • Try the minimalist approach! Do you REALLY need all of the things in your home? How about the extra items you picked up at the new home store at Potomac Mills? Consider putting those items back on the shelf instead of in your trunk. If you couldn’t resist a new pair of shoes at DSW or new golf shoes at Dick’s Sporting Goods, remember the rule of balance. For each pair of new shoes that you bring home, one pair needs to be donated. If you bring new clothes instead, you need to remove something from your closet. Consider cleaning out your closet regardless of whether or not you’re bringing extra things in.
  • Instead of waiting to do your taxes until April 14th, do them in February. For those of you who think saving receipts in a shoebox, use a home bookkeeping program throughout the year. There are plenty of applications available to help you!

Personally, instead of getting bogged down in the day-to-day ho-hum, I’d rather be doing any of these:

I practice what I preach, come join me at the Jimmy Buffet concert at Jiffy Lube Live, May 20th!

 

Finding More Time Now For Fun Stuff Later

Categories
Career Development Personal Development Professional Development

It’s started – “When do I get a Day off?”

When will I get a day off? screams have been heard throughout the new year.The first week back in January can seem the longest and most demanding in many professions. The fact that people are already planning their upcoming vacations is positive. There are far too many of us who believe that we cannot take time off and that the world cannot function without us. However, taking advantage of our time off is essential to both our continued existence and the calibre of the work we produce while at the office.

Why do people vacation? According to studies, having a vacation boosts productivity and lowers the amount of sick days that people take. After returning to the office, employees say they feel happier in their jobs. Employers prefer to produce people with better work/life balance in organizations with more lax vacation regulations, which results in higher-quality work.

974 of the 1500 Dutch individuals surveyed for a study by Erasmus University in Rotterdam reported taking a holiday. People who took vacations said they were happier than people who didn’t. They were so eager for the holiday that it affected their job. Their enhanced enjoyment was visible in their work when they returned to the job site. The trick, according to the study, is to take two or more brief vacations spread out over the course of the year as opposed to one extended trip. Share the happiness all year long!

Vacations help you unwind!

We frequently talk about being worried, and the research is conclusive: stress triggers specific physiological reactions, such as a rise in cortisol and adrenaline levels.

When we experience excessive stress over an extended length of time, our bodies react negatively. High rates of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart disease are typical. Men who frequently went on vacations had a 32% lower risk of dying from a heart attack, according to the 2010 Framingham Heart Study. That percentage was 50% for women, which was considerably higher.

A getaway can help you stay focused.

Studies have revealed that persistent stress has an impact on memory and an individual’s capacity to engage in goal-directed activities.

Recent studies have revealed that those who vacation frequently report an improvement in their sleep of over 20%. Vacations help to improve sleep quality. Additionally, they slept for about an hour longer on average each night, which continued until they got home.

While some people might consider holidays to be a luxury, they are actually essential for leading a balanced, healthy life. They are just as vital as eating right and exercising.

From an organizational perspective, workers who are rested, enthusiastic, and less stressed are happier and more focused workers. They also take less sick days and are more committed to assisting the business in achieving its goals.

According to a 2012 Harris Interactive Inc. survey, Americans will squander an average of 9.2 vacation days by the end of the year.

This is more than the 6.2 days that were typical in 2011.

Do everything in your power to bring that average down in 2017!

Wise Words Newsletter“ read the rest of the January newsletter here!

Categories
Career Development Personal Development Professional Development

February is supposed to be a month of love…how about loving your work life?

Welcome to February! The coldest month of the year and the month when we are bombarded by the idea of romantic love and all the happiness that is supposed to come from fulfilling relationships. Yeah, I’m not going there.

February should be a month of love but one devoted to the love of self, love of work, and love of life!

With 2017 in full swing, and many resolutions are already broken, it is time to (using a political term from last year’s debates) pivot our self-talk.

Start by asking yourself some hard questions. Do you like your job? Do you like the people you work with, either your staff, co-workers, or managers?  (Heck, do you show up to work in a way that lets them like you?) Do you feel you are doing your best work and making progress in your life and your career?

So many people plod along, day after day, unhappy. I’m not talking about ‘misery can’t get out of bed’ unhappy. Rather, underwhelmed and disappointed. No one is expecting anyone to jump up and down about work, every single day. But wouldn’t it be nice to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in your work?

Think back to the start of your current job/position. There must have been something about it that excited you or you wouldn’t have accepted the role. If your job has changed or the people around you have changed, there isn’t much you can do to control that. But what CAN you change?

Make a wish list, and go crazy with it! Write down that you want to run the company and fix everything. Then have a laugh and list the two or three, or even ten habits, procedures, or relationships that you can change and make a plan.

That plan may require training, enlisting the help of others, or being brave. Just imagine how you will feel if you make those changes and improve your outlook on your work and your career!

Then do the same exercise but pretend that your career and life are the company that you want to run and fix.  What do you want to do differently?  What do you want to do more?  Do less?  If this was your last year, what would you do to make it your best?

Now that would truly be something to love!

Wise Words Newsletter’s read the rest of the February newsletter here!

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Business Skills Training Career Development Corporate Teams Diversity Training Effective Communication Leadership Development Leadership Skills Personal Development Professional Development Wise Ways Consulting

PTSD in the Washington Region – Hidden in Plain Sight

PTSD Wise Ways Consulting
Depressed Female Soldier In Uniform Suffering With PTSD Sitting On Kitchen Floor On Home Leave

Living in the National Capitol Region, we share the area with many military installations and service members. Americans pride themselves on supporting the military. People rally around the returning troops, attend fundraisers to help support individuals, brave freezing December temperatures to lay wreaths at military cemeteries, and countless other opportunities to show their gratitude. Some even come together to build homes for those who have sustained more severe injuries that require building accommodations for prosthetics, wheelchairs, and other mobility-enhancing devices.

But what about those soldiers, men, and women, who carry silent burdens? Many look the same but suffer the natural consequences of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). According to a study by the RAND Corporation, at least 20 percent of service members returning from the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from depression, PTSD, or both. Military counselors estimate those numbers to be higher, especially when coupled with a TBI or traumatic brain injury.

As veterans transition into a civilian work environment, both themselves and their employers must understand how PTSD may impact everyone. They must work together to develop solutions so both the company and the veteran have the best chance at creating a successful work environment for all. According to 2012 research from Babbel, PTSD can impact veterans in many ways including memory loss, which can impact those struggling to learn new tasks on new jobs or function in meetings; lack of concentration; stress, including panic attacks, flashbacks, and emotional extremes resulting in the potential inability to work well with colleagues and managers; and hypersensitivity to sounds, lights, large crowds, and unknown areas resulting in headaches, migraines and panic attacks. Many veterans may not be used to the traditional work structure as compared with the military rank structure. This can cause stress and frustration as the employee works to forge a new path. For someone suffering from PTSD-induced memory loss, being unable to remember how to do that basic task explained earlier in the day may cause the individual to become overwhelmed and then lash out and blame a colleague or a supervisor. These types of negative responses can impede the development of relationships and workplace morale, particularly if other employees don’t understand that the incident isn’t about them. As the tension comes to light, it’s important to identify the root cause. Is it coming from one of the identified symptoms of PTSD? Supporting Individuals with PTSD in the workplace

  • Create a safe place to ask questions and work together
  • Bring in a trained facilitator/consultant to work with both management and veterans to better
    understand issues and then develop solutions
  • Develop written procedures, meeting notes, and training manuals so employees can refer back if they
    missed something at a session or need additional refreshers
  • Have published calendars for team tasks so individuals can refer to these privately
  • Provide access to alternate/softer lighting in workspaces
  • Initiate organization-wide strategies for managing stress
  • Set aside money for additional training for new members
  • Provide disability training to all team members

A solid relationship between employees and managers is critical for a productive workplace. This may be difficult for a veteran suffering from PTSD, working for a manager with little to no awareness of their background. Just like any employee, if the manager exhibits a lack of empathy for the individual’s situation, it becomes more difficult for the employee to be successful. This is magnified for someone struggling with PTSD.

Transitioning into a new workplace is difficult for anyone, but for those who bear the biggest burden for our freedoms, the task can seem impossible. If everyone did their part, the difference would be immeasurable.

This article was initially published in Prince William Living Magazine.
Categories
Goal Setting Leadership Development Leadership Skills Personal Development Professional Development

Set Your Sights Right for 2017

The national mood in 2016 has been the subject of a lot of writing. Even more difficult to forecast is right here in Northern Virginia. Will it be a boom or a bust? people worry amid the concern for locals who work for the federal government or its contractors directly. Will the Metro still securely transport us to and from work? How will tolls on Route 66 change? As we wait to see how our lives and livelihoods will alter, we are nearly holding our breath.

Remember to celebrate 2016’s triumphs as you turn the calendar from December to January and sigh with relief that it’s a new year.

The last 32 months have seen solid employment growth in Virginia.
According to Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc., the median price of a home in Prince William County climbed by 4% in 2016.

Both personally and professionally, there is room for development and opportunity in our neighborhood. Your success in 2017 will depend on how you set your goals.

Instead of looking back on the year and wondering, “Why didn’t I do that?”

Look at the steps you took to implement the change you wanted to see. (Insert the item that was on the list from the previous year.) Decide what worked well. Then take into account a few of these suggestions to kick off 2017:

Find a mentor, executive coach, or professional organization.
Attend networking and career-related events.
Enroll in a webinar online in your field.
Even if you are not seeking a job, update your resume.
Try to improve your health little by little.
Recruit relatives or friends as a support system to help you stay on track.
Obtain enough rest.

According to studies, writing down precise goals increases success more than simply thinking about them. Make sure to record yours.

Remember that taking action is the only way to bring about change and growth in 2017. Your own objectives won’t materialize immediately. It might take a full year longer.

Categories
Corporate Teams Effective Communication EQ-i 2.0 Leadership Development Leadership Skills Personal Development Professional Development

Communicating from Our Corners

Election month, November is finally here. The political vitriol and hate speech will stop (hopefully). With internet jokes, pundit reports, and social media shouting at us in a never-ending cycle, it’s difficult to tune it out. I’m your neighbor from up north, and I think a lot of it is a communication issue. The United States has genuinely stopped listening and talking as a country.

Let’s examine the previous several months and how we got here.

Republicans came first, but only because of the order of their convention.

Ted Cruz declined to support Trump. For the purposes of this conversation, it doesn’t matter if you loved or supported him. What counts is that a group of people booed him, engaging in improper behavior of their own. This shows how strongly they felt about his message. Delegates then began to abuse him on the convention floor, calling him a traitor and other derogatory terms.

The Bernie or Bust Democrats followed suit a week later. Even after their candidate endorsed the opposing candidate, they refused to accept it and continued to spew hate speech.

then the debates would follow. I listened to a stammering Donald Trump ramble about, I don’t know, anything. I could share some advice with him about how to interact with a crowd as a leadership development expert. Hillary made a sincere effort to connect with the audience despite her worries about her ability to do so. She has been portrayed in the past three weeks’ worth of Saturday Night Live sketches.

Then came a series of one-liners from both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, including references to “Nasty Woman” and “Basket of Deplorables.”

Including the allegations of sexual misconduct, Wikileaks, remarks concerning the involvement of other countries, and so forth. We are impatiently waiting to exit the crazy Ferris wheel that is spinning nonstop.

One of the things that make the United States a nation full of ideas and opportunities is the freedom to protest and inquire. But somewhere along the line, people lost the ability to sympathize, compromise, listen, and act rationally rather than emotionally. They have retreated even further into their corners.

Do you stand in a corner and stare out? Have any of the following crossed your mind or lips?
– Because I despise candidate B, I’m going to vote for candidate A. I won’t be casting a vote at all. I wholeheartedly agree with what my candidate says. Everything the other candidate says is unquestionably false. Never support Trump! Never Hillary, I say!

If you answered yes to any of them, you’re probably in a tight spot politically.

What would happen if you declared that you would never collaborate with a person in your office or on your team? What would happen if you were asked to present evidence and information regarding a project to aid in solving a dispute but you objected, claiming the opposing side was incorrect? What would you say if a worker approached you and said, “Never”? There is a good chance that HR would receive a call.

This lack of leadership results from no one paying attention, making concessions, or showing empathy. Booing someone is simple. Finding a solution to a problem and shaking hands is more difficult.

We all have our own niches, but it’s important to identify when we start to attract less attention since all we do is boo. This is when we become the “Never.” And when we turn into the “Never,” we must understand the effect that has on other people.

What do you perceive from your position as a leader? Do you simply perceive things from your own point of view? Or can you move around the room and experience it from someone else’s perspective? Do you anticipate that everyone on your team and throughout the company will adopt your point of view? Or can you see that sometimes being a part of something bigger than yourself requires sacrificing your personal needs and ambitions in order to realize the wider picture? In my book, How Not to Act Like a BLEEP at Work, I discuss how empathy and perspective-taking are crucial for fostering teamwork. Although it’s not always simple, achieving an organization’s objective and the bottom line is essential to its success.

As an individual leader and a part of your professional and personal communities, I encourage you to turn around and look at things from a different angle. You are not required to alter your opinions. But maybe, just maybe, you can work out a compromise. Your efforts to try and meet individuals where they are will be noticed by your team, and your business will benefit as a result.

Also, don’t forget to use your voting rights!

Read the remainder of the November newsletter at Wise Words here!

Categories
Effective Communication Personal Development Professional Development Training

The Important Role of the Right “Q” in the Workplace

As leaders, one way we make predictions about potential success is through IQ, intelligence testing. First developed in the early 1900s, these tests have become standard tools for the military, school placement, and human resource departments. But what do these tests measure or really predict? If you took the SAT as part of your college entrance application, and didn’t do well, but still graduated with top honors from a university, you experienced first-hand that human intelligence cannot and should not be bound by a number.

If we simply ignore IQ and build our teams with a balance of race, gender, class, and culture that would be what many experts tout as a diversified workforce. But putting diversity aside for a moment, we still have to remember that each person, regardless of his or her diversity, is unique. Each person has experiences, a personality, and abilities. Hiring managers and teams still need to make personnel decisions based on traits and abilities that do not always include technical abilities.

In my book, How Not to Act Like a BLEEP at Work, the protagonist, Louise Jackson is a technically astute middle manager who has inherited a diverse team. She’s annoyed by their personal problems, and their need to share the ups and downs of their client interactions, and fails to see how she is losing control of her project. She suffers from a lack of interpersonal skills, particularly empathy. She is sent to work with a mentor with the dark cloud hanging over her head and unless there is improvement in her leadership and team, she’ll be looking for a new job. She confides in her mentor that, Some people at this company are just too thin-skinned. They expect you to worry about their feelings and what is going on with them outside of the office. This is work, for goodness sake. You come here to get the job done.

Lou needs to learn about EQ or emotional intelligence.

What is EQ?
Emotional Intelligence is arguably a more critical element of success than IQ in determining a cohesive productive team in the workplace.  The Encyclopedia of Applied Psychology lists three major models of emotional intelligence, Mayer-Salovey, Daniel Goleman, and Reuven Bar-On.  The Mayer-Salovey model defines this as the ability to perceive, understand, manage and use emotions to facilitate thinking.  The Goleman model views EQ as an assortment of emotional and social competencies that contribute to successful managerial performance and leadership.  The Bar-On model describes EQ as an array of interrelated emotional and social competencies, skills, and behaviors that impact intelligent behavior.

There are five composites of Emotional Intelligence that makeup the Bar-Ons EQ-I 2.0 model; self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal, decision-making, and stress management.  Arguably, the most important for successful leadership is interpersonal skills. Healthy engagement with these proficiencies allows you to understand, connect and relate better with others and become more successful in positions that require social connection and esprit de corps.

Yet many leaders bristle at the use of the term empathy. Some find it difficult to care about things outside of the production of work, but as the workforce becomes more diversified, empathy and EQ skills are essential for success.

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important in the Workplace?
You hear the term company culture thrown around frequently in modern organizations. Any research on values and goals tells you that when values and goals align in the workplace, organizations are more successful.

From a management standpoint, if you are working at cross-purposes with your employees, your productivity will be stunted. It may be easier to quantify and calibrate technical skills but the behavioral skills found within EQ fuel the growth of your business.

Organizations can benefit from bringing in a knowledgeable consultant to facilitate EQ growth by utilizing assessments such as EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 to evaluate emotional intelligence in management, employees, and teams. From there, an interactive program to work with individuals and teams will cultivate valuable resources to improve effective communication. In the case of my struggling protagonist, Lou, she participates a formal mentoring program. Through stories, I show how she learns how to work with her team and increase organizational productivity. Those strategies will work for the real characters in our offices too!

Wise Words Newsletter” read the rest of the October newsletter here!

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Effective Communication Executive Coaching Leadership Development Leadership Skills Professional Development

Communication and Integrative Listening

It’s September, happy New Year! Don’t worry, I do know that the actual start of the year is January. Yet for many people, September signifies the start of a major work cycle and a return to more targeted communication. Summer vacations end, children go back to school, days are shorter, and there is a sense of urgency to produce profit, and provide before the actual new year.

This is a good time of year for managers to pay attention to integrative listening. This is a psychological/behavioral skill that means paying attention to others using your whole self. Look people in the eyes when either of you speaks, be sensitive to body language, and today, I would add, keep your phone in your pocket!

Leaders who practice integrative skills communicate with empathy, working to understand where the other person is coming from, even if they don’t agree with why the person feels or thinks that way. They watch the speaker’s body language and listen to their tone of voice. They understand that communication is more than words in isolation.  They learn to respond assertively, using I messages, owning their contribution to the process of communicating, and helping to involve the other parties in the process as well.  As people practice and employ these skills, they begin to appreciate what the other person brings to the table; relationships based on trust lead to more cohesive teamwork.

Now that we have all come back to work, physically and mentally, and that “new year” sense of urgency has started to surge through our workplace, it is more important than ever to be mindful of our behavior and practice integrative skills.  Recognize how our behavior impacts others. Are our ‘contributions’ really contributing to the growth of the team and the organization?  Or are we becoming a deterrent because of our lack of communication skills?  What do you need to focus on before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, 2016?

Want to learn more? Contact me at [email protected]

Wise Words Newsletter’s read the rest of the September newsletter here!

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